Hidden within the dark

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Photo courtesy: Hartwig HKD

I told ‘her’ but once,

But now I wish I hadn’t.

Hearing your pleas grate upon my ears,

They ravage my heart,

Which I wish was barren.

 

I feel polluted inside

Though I try to cleanse myself with consolation.

Your cries, they haunt me,

They ravage my heart.

Which I wish was barren.

 

I am not worthy of your love,

The trust you’ve placed in me.

The wrong that I’ve done to you, will never let me sleep.

They ravage my heart.

Which I wish was barren.

 

I did what I had to.

But you will never know,

That your clipped wings, your eternal imprisonment,

Are all because of me.

Your whimpers reminding me of my trickery

Will always ravage my heart,

Which I wish was barren.

 

Knowing you’ll stay unaware of my deceit,

I warn you never to come close

For this betrayal I may repeat.

 

To ‘her’ I apologize.

For what felt right,

Brought with it anguish and mistrust.

I never wished that you be the bearer of doom.

The anger I’ve caused, and

The trauma I’ve made you suffer,

They not only ravage, but destroy my heart.

Which I wish was barren.

 

I want for my heart to be barren,

To be unmoved by the destruction I’ve caused.

That which results in one being given undeserved love,

And pure hatred to the other.

To be able to ignore the loss of love and the cracks that ensued.

The guilt wracking me destroys me from within.

It ravages my now broken heart,

Which I wish never existed.

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5 thoughts on “Hidden within the dark

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